I have been a subscriber to several online dating sites for over a year and have learned a lot in the process. Match, Fitness Singles, Plenty of Fish and Tinder (the app you download on your phone that uses GPS to hone in on matches right around you).  On the positive side, the daily emails can be very flattering and boost your self esteem. Some of the people I have met are very kind and sincere in their search for love.  On the other hand, it can be overwhelming and people can get lost in the sheer numbers of it. I have personally had over 43,000 views on Match alone. I have been on dozens of first dates and just a few second dates. We always meet at a public location, like a Park Cities or Preston Hollow restaurant. I have had three short relationships from Match. And therein lies the problem. Distraction. One man I went on a date with recently enlightened me on the subject. He said I was distracted and dumped me because he knew my profile was still viewable on Match and I admitted that, yes, I had another date to go on. He explained that, although he understood and felt that was fair, he also thought that it didn't give him a good chance to have me learn about him and he about me.  He said I was juggling too much. He was right.

Every day, Match sends emails with a couple dozen people that might be good for you to meet. The bottom line is that it becomes a culture of "maybe there will be someone better in my inbox today".  You get sucked into always waiting for that better one to come along instead of focusing on the amazing person right in front of you. And that benefits Match, right? If they can keep you wondering about who else better might come along, then you stay subscribed and paying their membership fee.  In my case...over a year. The creator of Plenty of Fish writes that people want to feel that they have searched hard for their mate. Translation: lots and lots and lots of dates.

Although I'm not ready to give up my online matchmaking accounts just yet, I have started a singles group offline called Singleinthebubble Park Cities/Preston Hollow meetup group. Weekly, there are happy hour meetups at local hangouts for active and fit singles that live in Highland Park, University Park and Preston Hollow.  On October 22, from 5:30-6:30 p.m. there is a singleinthebubble meetup at Al Biernat's from 5:30 p.m.-6:30 p.m. Going forward, my new goal is to be mindful of not wanting to prolong my search by being distracted. I will focus much more carefully on the one person in front of me, getting to know them and figuring out if that person and I are a good fit for a long-term relationship before moving on to the next person. I hope I find him. Together, maybe we can have an "unsubscribe party" and side-by-side, remove ourselves from the online dating world!