Music is something many of us can relate to – it helps us reminisce, express ourselves, and it can provide comfort and a much needed distraction. For these reasons and more, music therapy is an integral piece for those navigating life’s final passage and for their grieving family members. Jennefer Dixon is a music therapist for Faith Presbyterian Hospice (FPH), and she witnesses the benefits of music therapy every day. She visits patients in their homes Monday through Friday, patients at the T. Boone Pickens Hospice and Palliative Care Center on Wednesdays, and she provides the music during Faith Kids and Camp Faith. Each situation is unique, and her techniques vary to accommodate the needs of patients and/or loved ones.

“Music therapy is the use of music and musical activities to care for patients and their families who are experiencing physical or emotional setbacks,” said Dixon. “I visit many of my patients in their homes. One patient really enjoys when I play older songs like ‘Clementine’ and ‘Home on the Range’ because her husband used to sing them to her, and they would sing them in the car with their kids when traveling on family road trips. The songs help her reminisce and recall happy moments she shared with her family. Another woman is a retired music teacher who sang in the opera. She lost her speech and ability to communicate – but listening to music still brings her a lot of joy. She lights up when I come to visit, and I’ve noticed certain songs like ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ really enhance her mood.”

When Dixon visits patients at the Pickens Center, she is more self-aware because the patients are often very close to the end of life with many family members around. Understanding they are letting her into a very emotional space, she speaks to loved ones and caregivers to determine what needs she can fill with music – such as providing a distraction from pain, easing anxiety, increasing joy or helping with expression. Sometimes families want her to play their loved one’s favorite songs, other times they want religious music or songs that bring back special memories. On occasion, a patient passes in the midst of the music therapy session. Dixon recalls a time when a woman took her last breath as she played “Amazing Grace” and her family sang to her.

“Music therapy is highly important for grieving loved ones too,” said Dixon. “One time, I entered the home of a family with a young father who was sick with cancer. The wife was very stoic, attending to his needs, as well as those of their children and grandchildren. She was wearing herself out trying to do everything on her own and be a rock for so many people. She requested that I play hymns, and when I started to play, she started sobbing and letting out all the emotions she had kept bottled up inside. At the end of the session she came up and thanked me teary eyed with a hug. Music can provide a safe space in which people can communicate very difficult feelings. Other instances where I’ve used music therapy is when working with grieving children who attend Faith Kids and Camp Faith.”

Faith Kids is held during the evening of the second Thursday of every month. These monthly support groups help children better understand the grieving process, encouraging them to share their unique experience of loss and to find comfort and healing in remembering and honoring their loved ones. Offered in the months of August and December, Camp Faith is a day camp that allows children, grandchildren and their surviving parents and grandparents to express their grief in a safe, secure, creative environment, and to develop creative ways to heal after the loss of a loved one. The next Camp Faith will be held on December 7 from 9:00 to 3:00 p.m. Both events will be held at 12477 Merit Drive Dallas Texas 75251.

“Kids are not always as verbal as adults.  They also do not want to stand out or be different,” said Valerie Sanchez, director of bereavement of Faith Presbyterian Hospice. “With music, we can ask about songs and relate through expression. Music is a therapeutic intervention that helps them normalize what is happening in terms of grief response, validate their feelings and create connections that show them they are not alone. It showcases that we all have these feelings, they are not weird, and it is okay to cry. Sometimes Jennefer will use the music to spur discussions about feelings, and other times she will use instruments so participants can express themselves by playing items like the thunder drum or bells.”

During a previous Faith Kids, participants wrote a song together based on the connection of not being alone in what they were going through or what they were feeling. The same techniques work for adults too. Another time, Sanchez witnessed a music therapy session with a man who was generally unresponsive and could not express himself. When the therapist handed him a drum, she tapped a beat and he responded with the same beat on his drum. Eventually his wife joined in and everyone took turns leading the rhythm of the drum. The wife said it was the most connected she felt with her husband in a long time.

“Music provides a way for people to connect using just a few words or even without words,” said Sanchez. “It is a part of many cultures, and it is a universal art in our lives. We use music to create bridges between people. When integrated with other therapies, such as massage therapy, it can create a really tranquil experience for the patient as well. Our goal at Faith is to help this transition become less about loss and more about comfort, enrichment and love.”

When trying to cope with grief after the passing of a loved one, it can be difficult to know what to do. It’s not about learning how to let go of that person or let go of the grief, it’s about finding therapeutic ways of acknowledging the grief, remembering the person and metaphorically saying goodbye. To help those dealing with grief find peace and take steps toward celebrating their loved one’s life, Faith Presbyterian Hospice (FPH) hosted its annual Spring Memorial and Balloon Release on April 27. This event also reminded attendees they are not alone in their grief. Approximately 200 people came together at Faith Presbyterian Hospice’s T. Boone Pickens Hospice and Palliative Care Center – Marnie & Kern Wildenthal Education Center (12467 Merit Drive, Dallas TX 75251) to celebrate the individuals they lost who made a meaningful and significant impact on their lives.

“While we all grieve differently, it’s often very isolating. Each year, our goal is to bring people together through this event,” said Valerie Sanchez, director of bereavement for Faith Presbyterian Hospice. “Together, we write messages on our balloons, which are biodegradable and string-less. During this time, we share stories and memories of our loved ones. Then we release our balloons collectively into the sky, which serves as a metaphorical moment which honors our loved ones and shares our messages with them.”

Families were invited to an indoor memorial service held prior to the balloon release. During this time, attendees had the chance to write messages on their balloons before the send-off. By the time everyone is ready to do the release, most of the balloons are covered in memories, quotes and messages of love. Some families have turned the balloon release into a yearly tradition. Often, people will attend the memorial service and later create their own balloon releases to celebrate their loved one’s birthday or an anniversary.

“Some of the most powerful messages have come from kids wanting to send a message to their parent. The balloon release gives them a way to do just that. What might come as a surprise is they often cry, but they feel good about the process. That’s the healing part of grief in action,” says Sanchez.  

It’s important for anyone dealing with the loss of someone significant to acknowledge their grief. For this reason, Faith Presbyterian Hospice encourages people to remember and share that person with people around them. Often, you don’t get the chance to say the name of those who have died. This event provides that opportunity and creates an environment in which everyone may share what they are going through, how much they miss their loved one and the attributes of that person that made them so special. This event can also be an opportunity for those who missed a funeral to grieve and say goodbye. The goal is not to let go of the person but to remember them. By doing this, Faith Presbyterian Hospice helps people cope with their grief in a healthy way while remembering their loved ones with honor and a joyful heart.

Advice for coping with grief:

• Recognize your grief and know there is no time limit on grief
• Know it is okay to feel fear, confusion, anger and sadness
• Grief doesn’t happen in phases or stages, and it doesn’t necessarily go away
• Finding a support group can help, as bonding with people in similar predicaments can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation
• Major life changes or the loss of additional loved ones can trigger memories and grief reactions
• Always continue taking care of yourself

Advice and tips like the ones mentioned above are also covered in Faith Presbyterian Hospice’s monthly support groups. Faith Presbyterian Hospice has prepared a downloadable Directory of Grief Support Resources containing a list of our own monthly support groups, valuable references to individual grief therapists, counseling and support groups, websites, recommended reading and more.

After watching parents and in-laws go through their end-of-life experiences, two Dallas women were inspired to start volunteering with those in hospice care at Faith Presbyterian Hospice. Touched by those who cared for their loved ones and driven to create a more meaningful experience – one they wish their own family member would have had – Jan Patterson and Cindy Clampett became Faith Presbyterian Hospice volunteers. Both ladies agree that anyone can put money into a charity, but when someone gives the gift of time it makes the recipients feel like they truly matter and are loved.  

“Several years ago, I cared for my mother who had a chronic illness and was living with dementia,” said Patterson. “When her health declined, she moved into a skilled nursing home since the small Indiana town did not offer hospice. After her move, she became a forgotten person, as friend after friend came up with excuses as to why they could not visit. Visits from my brother, aunt, myself and overworked aids were all she had to look forward to. She started feeling lonely and isolated, deprived of connections to the outside world. Our family did not have any support, and sought to fill these needs on our own accord. Over time, I learned how to provide comfort and care, as well as how to communicate with her to brighten her days. After her death, I decided to volunteer with hospice to enrich the lives of patients facing the same types of issues my mom dealt with. I want patients I visit with to know that I care about them. They are still the same people inside, people who need to be loved and cared for, people who need to feel like they matter.”

The volunteer work Patterson currently does, and has been doing for nearly eight years, is in honor of her mother. Her goal is to be a compassionate and caring presence, treating patients with the respect and dignity they deserve. Patterson visits patients and their families on Monday afternoons at the T. Boone Pickens Hospice and Palliative Care Center. She also volunteers as a greeter for funerals in the center’s chapel. On Mondays, she visits the nurse stations to see who they feel would like a visit. The visits not only positively impact the patients, they provide a nice break for families as well. Visits from volunteers like Patterson help break up the day and bring positive energy into the room.

“A lot of patients enjoy socializing with new people and they welcome my visit,” said Patterson. “I try to connect with them by looking at items in their room, such as family pictures or decorations, and asking questions about the things I am looking at to learn more about their life story. If the patient is alone in the room and is nonresponsive or has shortness of breath, I read lighthearted short stories to them. Even though they cannot speak, they delight in hearing the stories. I also speak to patients even if they are nonresponsive. I know they can hear me and feel my presence. If the family is present, I engage with them as they need support too.”

Often, Patterson will find families sitting in silence feeling helpless. Not knowing what to do can paralyze family members. During these visits, Patterson will encourage the family to tell their loved one the difference they have made in their lives. As a patient’s life comes to an end, they will begin to wonder if they impacted people’s lives in a positive way – this time of sharing answers that stirring question. Both the patient and the family are healed by this exercise.

“Nothing in life prepares us for end-of-life time with loved ones,” said Patterson. “Once, I helped a daughter whose mother was nonresponsive, getting her to share memories of her mom out loud. I was sitting by the patient making comments on what the daughter had shared. All of a sudden, the patient spoke responding to the memory. Her daughter cried, holding her mother exclaiming ‘you do know that I am here.’ This helped her be more natural and comfortable while caring for her mother. Offering support and friendship to the patients and their family during this journey is a privilege. Once the family is more comfortable interacting with their loved one, peace and comfort is found. It is amazing to be a part of that experience.”

Patterson also volunteers once a month helping to run a support group for children who have lost a parent. In the past, Patterson helped with comfort calls, respite care and received training in the eleventh hour. Helping others is a passion of hers and gives her a sense of purpose in life. She is extremely thankful to Faith Presbyterian Hospice for the opportunity to be a patient companion.

“It is humbling to see the difference I make in their lives with so little given from me – my time, presence and a listening ear,” said Patterson. “What a blessing this has been – to see the impact and feel the energy change. It means the world to people to know that someone cares, is interested in them and wants to spend time with them. It makes them feel like they have value.”

Clampett also devotes time to visiting with patients, as well as handling data conversions for “tuck-in” calls, volunteer progress notes on patient contact, volunteer request forms and memory bear request forms. The information on these forms log contact between patients and volunteers keeping records up-to-date so staff can reference them as needed. Tuck-in calls are performed by volunteers and are meant to ensure patients have everything they need before the weekend starts. Any concerns, updates or needs are written on a report. Clampett takes nearly 100 hard-copy reports each week and creates electronic documents that she puts into each patient’s e-file. This process ensures that patient files are up to date. She does the computer work throughout the week and visits a woman in her home on Tuesdays.

“My mother-in-law went to Faith Hospice, and her nurse Laura was a kind caregiver who served patients with empathy and an open heart,” said Clampett. “I have always been a service-oriented person and was inspired to volunteer with Faith after my husband’s mother received such astounding care. I started out visiting patients in skilled nursing homes, private homes, hospitals and senior communities. The visits are usually an hour to an hour and a half, and I always feel like I am visiting with my grandparents. I ask them questions about their lives and delight in hearing their stories. Anyone can donate money to an organization, but when someone dedicates their time it shows just how supportive they truly are.”

Clampett currently visits a woman in her home where her daughter is the main caregiver. The visits bring everyone comfort, as Clampett brings something that is not related to illness or dying into the home: friendship. When the woman was last in respite care, Clampett visited her daily sending photos and updates to the daughter.  Reporting her mother’s condition provided the daughter peace of mind that her mother was doing well in the care of other people. Clampett enjoys the time she spends volunteering because she says it makes her feel as though she contributed to something important in someone else’s life.

“I want to be a resource to people in need, lend a hand and share my time,” said Clampett. “It is in my nature – it’s a passion and I don’t consider it work at all. It is also something I feel compelled to do to sustain my spiritual relationship. When my father and my father-in-law passed away, I felt it was a gift to be with them as they passed over from this life to the next. Everyone has such wonderful life experiences, and no one should be fearful of dying. My goal is to be a peaceful presence and help comfort people who are navigating life’s final passage. Together, volunteers like me help this transition become less about loss and more about comfort, enrichment and love.”

“We rely on our volunteers to help us make a significant impact each and every day,” said Valerie Sanchez, director of bereavement and integrated therapies for Faith Presbyterian Hospice. “Faith Presbyterian Hospice is incredibly grateful for all the time that volunteers, like Jan and Cindy, devote to enriching the lives of those we serve. We truly are a ministry of people coming together to serve those in need.”

To commemorate the opening of the T. Boone Pickens Hospice and Palliative Care Center, Faith Presbyterian Hospice held two private events, including a dedication ceremony and opening celebration. Board members, donors and dignitaries including T. Boone Pickens and Congressman Pete Sessions took part in the ceremony at the dedication event, with Councilmembers Jennifer Staubach Gates and Lee Kleinman in attendance. Clark Hodges and T. Boone Pickens also unveiled a painting made specifically for the center. During the donor appreciation event, donors, dignitaries and board members took part in an opening celebration highlighting National Healthcare Decisions Week, which included interactive stations and conversations about values for today as well as at the end of life. The new center is located at 12477 Merit Drive in Dallas. 

The 53,388-square-foot center is expected to serve 1,200 families a year and is the first standalone inpatient and residential hospice center in Dallas. The center includes 36 lake-facing patient rooms in a holistic environment designed to provide meaningful experiences. The generous support of T. Boone Pickens, the Harold Simmons Foundation, the Hamon Charitable Foundation, Donald and Charlotte Test, and numerous other donors resulted in $43 million in contributions raised to date to make this center a reality. Faith Presbyterian Hospice and the T. Boone Pickens Hospice and Palliative Care Center are part of Presbyterian Communities and Services, a faith-based not-for-profit organization.

“We are a care-oriented organization that is highly committed to enriching the lives of those we serve in unique ways, and this state-of-the-art center is an extension of our mission,” said Tim Mallad, president of Presbyterian Communities and Services. “The center does not feel clinical or like a medical facility; it has the warmth of home and was thoughtfully designed to provide tranquility and support for patients and their families. We are thrilled to celebrate the opening of this exceptional hospice center which fills a longtime gap in the health care continuum in Dallas.”

The T. Boone Pickens Hospice and Palliative Care Center gives families a calm, comforting environment where their loved ones will live while facing end-of-life illnesses. Prior to this center, families had to choose between receiving hospice services at home, in the hospital or in long-term care centers without the benefit of a care center designed specifically to meet their needs. In addition, the center is a place of transition where patients with chronic diseases can be stabilized before returning home from the hospital. Patients are cared for in private suites with a bed-accessible patio or balcony overlooking serene gardens and a beautiful lake with access to 24/7 nursing care for pain management.

While the center has numerous amenities for patients, it is also designed to accommodate the whole family with Wi-Fi, laundry facilities, living rooms, spaces designed for reflection, a chapel, and playrooms for young children and teens. Other services offered by the center include massage and music therapy, patient and family education, as well as bereavement support for children and family members. A Child Life Specialist focuses on children’s needs from the present time until age 18. The center also offers Faith Presbyterian Hospice’s Signature Services such as Faithful Presence, which involves recording messages from family members to their loved one; Faithful Paws, an animal therapy program; Memory Bears, where volunteers make bears out of loved ones’ clothing as keepsakes; and Faithful Wishes, in which special wishes by patients are made possible.

“We have reached a milestone, and we are proud to give families meaningful end-of-life journeys in a beautiful environment with all of the support and services they need,” said Peter Lynch, executive director of Presbyterian Communities and Services Foundation. “We are extremely thankful for all of the donors who made this possible. We are currently raising money for the endowment, and we look forward to seeing the positive impact the center will have on the community.”

The campus consists of five centers of excellence, including The Harold Simmons Foundation Inpatient Care Center, The Pickens Center Child and Family Bereavement Center, Spiritual Care Center, The Marnie and Kern Wildenthal Education Center and The Donald and Charlotte Test Outdoor Reflection Center. Although Presbyterian Communities and Services is a faith-based organization, the center welcomes people of all faiths and backgrounds and is accredited by the National Institute for Jewish Hospice (NIJH).

The center’s partners on this project include PRDG, architectural firm; Linbeck, construction firm; Faulkner Design Group, interior architecture and design; and Mesa, landscape architecture, planning, and urban design.